Black in classic

Is cheating a deal breaker for you? There isn’t a right or wrong answer because it is subjective. It’s okay to land on either side because it’s about what works for you. But, for me, cheating is a deal breaker. I don’t believe that I am systematically built to handle cheating. I am fully aware of myself. Once trust is lost, it cannot be earned back. I find myself thinking, am I capable to love someone through cheating? I know that I can’t. I find it disrespectful and a little disgusting. I firmly believe that if you are with someone that you should only be with that one person. Where is there room for someone else? In my opinion, if there is room for another woman then you don’t need me. I rather free you to do what you want. The selfishness that is imbedded in cheating is unbelievable. It hurts way more than just the people involved. I understand that it can happen. It happens quite often. However, it is NEVER an accident. It is never by mistake. I know that I would never be able to look at my significant other the same. I think that’s the real truth. Many people will say that they can get over it, but I don’t believe you can. There will always be that little voice that nags you. I can’t ignore that little voice. There always be something that will trigger you and cause you to react. It’s so damaging. On the flip side, I don’t believe the phrase “Once a cheater, always a cheater.” People love different people in different ways. I believe that when you’ve found someone you truly care about then there is no else for you. If you want to be with someone else, let me go! Like Fantasia said, Free Yourself. I imagine people who cheat on their partners think that it will hurt their S/O more if they left them so instead they cheat. That hurts worse because no one wants to ask themselves, “Why wasn’t I enough?” That’s a painful question to ask yourself. I know that I am enough and worthy so HOW COULD I allow someone to treat me and make me feel so small. Now, someone may disagree and as I stated earlier that is okay. These are my OWN thoughts and feelings. I don’t believe in the narrative that love is sticking it out through abuse. That’s mental and physical abuse. Being undervalued in a relationship is not being your ride or die. That’s not loving you through the good and bad. I’m all the way cool on that. I think that’s a narrative some live by because it gives us an excuse to not demand and expect more. I’ve said it so many times before, love yourself enough to know that you deserve more. Never love someone (besides your children) more than you love yourself. And I’ll save being the side piece for another day… that’s an entirely different conversation that will need its own post.