Black in classic

We are in a climate where everyone has a fruitful social life. We are constantly out with the girls having brunch and attending events, but what happens when you find yourself friendless in a social media driven society? I’m not sure if I am the only one, but I struggle with making, maintaining and keeping friendships. Most times it feels like a strange curse on my introverted life. I’m not the girl with a large group of friends that I go on adventures with. I always found solace in being real good friends with one person, however; that is extremely isolating. Especially when the dynamics of that friendship changes. As an only child (on both sides) navigating through life as a loner was generally easy. I grew up playing alone the majority of the time. I would believe this really impaired my ability to socialize. I was used to being alone. I have cousins, but that’s not the same. Now I say all that to say, I have a learned behavior of knowing that I can rely on myself and making no room for other people. I’m an introverted only child that has abandonment issues so yeah, I don’t cling to people. That’s a hindrance for a young millennial growing up in a time where everything is for social media. This is a real eye-opener for me because although I know these things, I think it’s time to work on them. Being able to check yourself and make yourself better is the ultimate goal. As I grow older, I seek more meaningful friendships and people that will add value to my life. It’s a struggle because I have to let go of a story and labels that I have attached to myself for so long. For a long time, I settled with being the introverted loner that unintentionally distanced myself from people. I’m not the most outgoing and friendly person. I’m fun when you get to know me. Maintaining friendships is speaking to people frequently. Even if you feel like you are annoying them. I have a really bad habit of not speaking to people for months or years, without reason. I don’t have an answer for that, but my goal is to make adjustments that bring people in. It is so easy to not speak to someone for some months or years and it turn out that you are no longer friends. This has happened to me time and time again. I don’t think I’ll ever be the woman with large groups of friends, but I intend to make strong efforts to be a better friend.